Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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