Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
