You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
