went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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