Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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