the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
