Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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