Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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