eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
