Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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