my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
