When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
