Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
