How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
