Do you still have your period?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
