It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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