Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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