4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize