Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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