nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
