? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
