it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
