Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
