I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
