Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
