I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
barbara walters just said penis...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
