if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We were destined to go to rehab together
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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