I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
