By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
