Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
