before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
