I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
