dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think I died a long time ago.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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