Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize