i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
