i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
