3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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