She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
