you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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