she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
