Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
