I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
vagina is talking i cant
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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