he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
