There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
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