so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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