Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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