What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
