I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
