Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
