She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
